When freedom begins

It's funny just to look at old notes; thus I can see all the way I've done. Reading those old articles, I suddenly realised that the crisis have passed. Now I'm peaceful. I'm not scared anymore. I know who I am, what I want. I know what I can't have. I'm one again.

I realised that you, my young lover, will soon fall into my memories. Of course now you have the form of this obsession, this obsession of love, for you're always in my dreams, every single night. It hurts to know that you and I will never be possible, it frustrates to know that if we lived on the same continent we could be together. Love hurts. Love hurts but it makes me feel alive somehow; kinda reassuring to know that I'm still able to love.

I don't know where does this hapiness come from.

I'm thinking that maybe it's the sun. Maybe it's my friends. But no. I think that it's because I've started my big adventure. Finally, I took my tickets to Denver. Denver, on the 4 of July. A month, 4 days. Damnit I'm crazy. I'm crazy. But now, I can't turn over, no no. I have to do it. My mother says that if I feel bad about 10 days, I can't go back to France. Is she kidding ? It's like if I was the only one to understand. It's an ADVENTURE. A real one; like in movies, like in books.

Point is that now, doubt has left my heart. It's done. I'm gonna do it. No reasons to be doubtful again. Moving on, moving on to the 4th of July, and I will started my destiny.