At the end of loneliness

Yesterday, I just watched Into The Wild. Everybody say that this movie is just beautiful. Is it ? This movie touched me in a way I didn't expect. There is so much to understand about it, and I can't see hope about that. The truth is, that we have to match to society, that we have to live in our time. That adventure is not possible, or may be, but with pain. No pain no gain ? What did Chris want ? Actually, it's not the movie in itself which made me really thoughtful - but the fact that I AM Chris. Suddenly, my will to go to the USA alone trouble me - more than it did before, and made me wonder one more time WHY. Why alone ? What am I affraid of ? Don't I understand that live is not a individualism principle ? I am so scared to be Chris - to not reach what I wanted, to discover the truth but not to achieve what I'm doing. Am I affraid of loneliness ? Maybe I just want to go there alone to not face the reality, to not face the fact that I AM alone. I have friends, best friends - but there's a moment where it's no sufficient anymore. I have to find more. I am totally scared thinking that I don't match the time I'm living. So Into The Wild, just shows me a truth - I can't, I HAVE to be somebody else than Chris, for Chris is what I'm becoming those days. I can't be like that.
So Into The Wild, well, just a reflect of myslef somehow - a reflect I don't want to look like.

So now, changement is on turn.